SB Nation Minnesota: All Posts by Jon Marthaler

Twins at Braves: News and Notes

2013-05-20T14:00:07Z

Probables (all games FSN)

Monday, 6:10pm: Kevin Correia vs. Julio Teheran
Tuesday, 6:10pm: Mike Pelfrey vs. Tim Hudson
Wednesday, 11:10am: Vance Worley vs. Paul Maholm

Braves Notes

As I'm sure you're aware, this is Minnesota's first visit to Atlanta since the 1991 World Series. In fact, according to Baseball Reference, it's the first visit by the Washington Senators or Minnesota Twins to the Boston Beaneaters, Doves, Rustlers, Braves, or Bees, or the Milwaukee Braves.
Ron Gant was falling off the bag. Kent Hrbek just held the tag on him. Drew Coble was smart enough to see it. That's the end of the story.
The two teams have met three times in the regular season. Weirdly, all three series - in 2002, 2007, and 2010 - took place between June 10 and June 14.
You might remember that Atlanta started the season 12-1. Since then, they're 13-17, but they've still got a multiple-game lead in the NL East.
The Braves' strength has been their bullpen, but at the moment, the whole thing's in disarray. Craig Kimbrel, who led the league in saves two years in a row, is still going pretty strong, but all his setup guys are gone. Eric O'Flaherty tore his ulnar collateral ligament, and Jonny Venters just had Tommy John surgery last week. Jordan Walden is on the DL with shoulder inflammation. The Atlanta 'pen has been the best in the league, but how long can that last?
Upton Update: Justin leads the league with 14 home runs and is slugging .608. B.J. is batting .145, and is the worst qualified hitter in the majors not named Aaron Hicks. This has been your Upton Update.

Twins Notes

We're going to look back some day and wonder, "How did Pedro Hernandez ever get six starts for the Twins?" Meanwhile, Kyle Gibson nearly threw a no-hitter Sunday, and ended up with his second shutout in three games, so unless I'm missing something we should see a swap of the two any minute now.
Meanwhile, Cole De Vries finished his rehab but ended up in Rochester, which apparently means that the Twins want him to be average at Rochester for awhile before they call him up.
The Twins have eight guys who have played enough to have qualified for the battling title. Five of them - Ryan Doumit, Brian Dozier, Josh Willingham, Chris Parmelee, and Aaron Hicks - are batting under .225. Dozier in particular has been awful, as he has only managed a Butera-like .450 OPS in May.
The Twins have the longest losing streak in the majors, tied with Baltimore at five games.

Angel Hernandez Gets A Performance Review

2013-05-20T13:00:11Z

SCENE: A nondescript office in New York. MLB Director of Umpires RANDY MARSH sits at a conference room table, shuffling papers in and out of a briefcase and whistling mostly tunelessly, though a sharp-eared listener may be able to detect occasional strains of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame."

A soft knock, and then the door opens. In walks ANGEL HERNANDEZ.

HERNANDEZ: Hey, Randy. We doing this in the conference room this year?

MARSH: Yep, we sure are. Good to see you. This won't take a minute, but we got to do these - you know paperwork.

HERNANDEZ: Sure, sure.

MARSH: Let's get going, then. The old man is prowling around today and I don't want him stopping -

The door opens with a crash, accompanied by a thump from outside the room. Both men jump to their feet.

BUD SELIG: Dang it, I thought this was one of them newfangled sliding glass doors!

MARSH: Told you a hundred times, Mr. Selig. Those are only on the outside of buildings. In here we have regular doors.

SELIG: Ah, dangit. Well, anyway, I heard that Angel here was coming in today for his performance review, since his crew is in town. Was hoping I could sit in. You just go ahead and run through your questions.

MARSH (looking uncomfortable): Uh... you sure maybe you don't want to ask your questions first? Don't want to hold you up here.

SELIG: No, no, this is the main thing I got to do today. Already finished the Jumble.

MARSH: Right... all right, question 1. Are you still breathing regularly?

HERNANDEZ: Yes.

MARSH: Were you a major league umpire previously?

HERNANDEZ: Yes.

MARSH: All right, that wraps it up for our questions. According to my sliding scale, your performance rating for this year is "Outstanding."

HERNANDEZ: Thank you.

SELIG (jumps up, knocking a computer to the floor): Now just hold on a minute here! You mean to say that's the whole performance review?

MARSH: We've been using it for years, and it never failed us before.

SELIG: Does anyone ever not get "outstanding"?

HERNANDEZ: Eric Gregg got "super-outstanding" eight years in a row.

SELIG: How?

MARSH: He ate an entire meatball sub without using his hands.

HERNANDEZ (puts his hand on his heart): The man had a gift.

SELIG: Well, blast it, I'm not going to let this go by. Sit back down, I've got a few questions of my own!

MARSH: Neither of us got up. You're the only one that's standing up.

SELIG (staring wildly): Right. Alright, question one, smart guy. If a fielder throws his glove at the ball and hits it, what happens?

HERNANDEZ: Uh... The batter gets a ground-rule double?

SELIG (to Marsh): Is he right?

MARSH: How should I know?

SELIG: I'll look it up later. OK, question two. Is this a balk? He waves his arms around wildly while sticking his tongue out and making goofy faces

HERNANDEZ: Yes.

SELIG: Wrong answer! Trick question, I wasn't the pitcher, I was the third baseman.

MARSH: That's just silly.

HERNANDEZ: Don't worry, I've got this. He winds up dramatically. All right, you're outta this game!

SELIG: What game?

MARSH (gently): Angel, you can't really-

HERNANDEZ: Nope, you're gone! Start walking!

SELIG: Or what?

HERNANDEZ: Or I'll have to make a report and send it to the commissioner's office!

SELIG: You're in the commissioner's office. That's literally where we are right now.

HERNANDEZ: Oh. Well, maybe, then... um...

MARSH (again, gently): Angel, why don't you just go. I'll take care of this.

HERNANDEZ: Right. Yes. Well. He leaves, somewhat huffily.

SELIG: Randy, that man needs to be fired!

MARSH: Yeah, I know.

SELIG: You're not going to fire him, are you?

MARSH: No, I'm not. And do you know why I'm not?

SELIG: Because after years of being an umpire, you hate everything and everyone?

MARSH: That's right.

SELIG: Me too.

We zoom away, with both men looking pensive. In the far distance, we can hear Hernandez attempting to eject two secretaries, a doorman, and a cab driver.

Twins vs Red Sox: News and Notes

2013-05-17T15:48:39Z

Probables (all games FSN)

Friday, 7:10pm: Vance Worley vs. Clay Buchholz
Saturday, 6:10pm: Scott Diamond vs. Ryan Dempster
Sunday, 1:10pm: Pedro Hernandez vs. John Lackey

Red Sox Notes

When the Red Sox beat the Twins in the opening game of a four-game series last week, the Sox led the AL East by two games. They then lost the final three games of the series to Minnesota, then followed that up by losing two of three to Toronto, and though they won their series against Tampa Bay, they're now a game back of the somehow red-hot Yankees.
Andrew Bailey was the Sox closer for about eight minutes, before he went on the DL with a strained biceps. You won't see him this weekend; he's scheduled to return Monday. Joel Hanrahan replaced him briefly, but tore a muscle in his elbow and is now probably out for the year. Junichi Tazawa is theoretically now the closer, but hasn't had a save situation. He won last night against Tampa Bay by pitching the eighth and ninth, but other than that, all he's done is blow a tie game against Toronto.
The Twins haven't won the season series against Boston since 2006. One win in this series would do it.

Twins Notes

According to La Velle E. Neal at the Star Tribune, Darin Mastroianni's foot isn't improving at all. Given the Twins medical staff, expect Mastroianni to be ready to go for 2014 spring training at the earliest.
Let's not get too excited about Kyle Gibson. He threw a shutout against Toledo the other day, but he didn't make it out of the fifth inning of the start on either side of the shutout, giving up five runs on eleven hits in one, and four runs on seven hits in the other.
Justin Morneau is batting .386 / .400 / .491 in May. You would have noticed more if Joe Mauer wasn't hitting .462 in the same span.
Speaking of Mauer, according to FanGraphs, he's eighth in the majors in Wins Above Replacement this year. First, however, is our old friend Carlos Gomez, who has an OPS of 1.024 and is generally playing better than he is able.

Twins vs. White Sox News and Notes

2013-05-13T14:00:10Z

Probables (all games FSN)

Monday, 7:10pm: Pedro Hernandez vs Hector Santiago
Tuesday, 7:10pm: Kevin Correia vs Jake Peavy
Wednesday, 12:10pm: Mike Pelfrey vs Dylan Axelrod
Thursday: OFF DAY

White Sox Notes

Chicago is, by most conventional measures, the worst-hitting team in the American League. They are dead last in batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage. The team's OPS+ this year is 71; Nick Punto boasts a career 77 OPS+.
The Roll of Shame: Paul Konerko is hitting .214. Jeff Keppinger is batting .187. And Adam Dunn - well, Historically Awful 2011 Adam Dunn appears to be back in Chicago's lineup, as he's hitting .137 / .235 / .308. Also batting .137: Aaron Hicks. (And Hicks has a better OBP than Dunn, who famously walks a lot.)
The 120 runs scored by the White Sox this year are comfortably the fewest in the AL, a full 15 runs worse than the always-punchless crew in Seattle.
The shame of it, from the Sox standpoint, is that the team's pitching has been excellent. Chicago's given up the second-fewest runs in the AL, at 132; both the team's starters and the team's relievers are allowing opposing hitters to bat just .239.

Twins Notes

The Twins are 17-17, including an 8-8 record at home and a 9-9 record on the road. They are 5-5 in their last 10 games, and for the season, have scored 156 runs and given up 155. They could hardly, in any way, be more the embodiment of a .500 baseball team.
Joe Mauer is hitting .447 / .533 / .644 in May. He has nine doubles in that span; only three other Twins (Oswaldo Arcia, Justin Morneau, and Trevor Plouffe) have more than nine hits in May.
Speaking of Arcia, here's the on-the-nose scouting report from my Dad: "He looks like a mini-Killebrew... with a healthy dose of Delmon Young thrown in."
Cole De Vries made his New Britain rehab start: five innings, four hits, two walks, five runs (but just two earned), five strikeouts. He threw 71 pitches. Given that Pedro Hernandez has gotten bombed twice in a row, he'd better throw a gem tonight, or he's going to be packing his bag for Rochester again soon.

Excerpts from Tom Brunansky's 2013 Diary

2013-05-13T13:00:10Z

Day 1: So completely pumped I couldn't sleep last night. Checked the clock every ten minutes the whole night - is it time yet? Is it time? You'd be excited too if you had my job. This team has serious, I mean serious, dinger potential. Morneau's healthy. Willingham's a bomber. Plouffe's gonna hit some. Doumit's gonna hit some. Parmelee's gonna hit some. Heck, even Joe Mauer's going to be leaving the yard when I'm done working with him. This is gonna be just like '87. Man, we hit some dingers that year.

Day 2: So completely pumped. Need to find a different way to reach some of these guys, though. I saw Morneau in the clubhouse chowing down on some chicken, and I was like, forget that stuff. I told him we were gonna bomb some pasta, get a quick lift in, then go out and just rip the cover off the ball. Turns out the guy's got a "gluten sensitivity." I told him I knew a waitress over in Orlando that could rub that right out of him. (I found out later that "gluten" has nothing to do with your butt muscles. Well, excuse me, Mr. Sensitive.)

Day 10: Big crowd for BP here in Fort Myers. I pulled the old corked bat out of the bag and gave it to Mauer, told him to put on a show. He just looked at me all confused, and said, "Why?" I guess times are different. Still pumped though.

Day 22: Found Parmelee on Field 3 stretching, when I thought he was working off the tee, learning to get some backspin on the ball. (The backspin turns fly balls into dingers.) He told me the stretching keeps him loose and ready to run. I said, "Does a thoroughbred stretch before it runs?" That's one of Herbie's. Parmelee didn't get it.

Day 37: TK keeps telling me the game has changed, that the players are different now. He says everybody's in better shape, but I don't see it. I used to smoke unfiltered cigs in the dugout bathroom and I hit 20 bombs eight seasons in a row. Doumit was doing yoga before the game (I think; I'm still not sure what yoga is) and he's hit like eleven homers in his career.

Day 40: Tried calling Herbie for some support today but he was busy. Gaetti doesn't answer my calls, not after that incident with the sour cream. Kirby's in that big ballpark in the sky. I'm pretty sure Don Baylor doesn't own a phone.

Day 46: Forget all that. So pumped again. Season starts today and I can tell everybody's locked in. I remember this from when I played; everybody screwed around in the spring, worked on some stuff, worked on all of that keeping your hands back and stuff like that, but come Opening Day the light goes on and the ball starts flying out of the yard. Here we go.

Day 49: Must just be cold.

Day 53: Must just be snowy.

Day 60: Must just be slow starters.

Day 67: Must be locked in a hellish alternate dinger-less dimension from which there is no escape.

Day 71: Can't think like that, Bruno. Gotta power through... oh, who am I kidding.

Day 82. Status report. Not at all pumped.

I don't get this team. We have 26 homers. Nobody has more than five. If I'd hit only five home runs by mid-May I'm pretty sure Dan Gladden would have showed up at my house with a sack full of doorknobs.

If I can find Danny and get that sack, I might pay Joe Vavra some kind of visit. Most of this team is taking pitches and going to the opposite field and all that crap. I keep telling my guys, look at that fence; it doesn't get any closer than at the foul pole. Aim for that, brother. Not everything has to be some opposite-field shot off a changeup that's down. Maybe just rip a fastball down the line, is what I mean. All that matters is that it goes over the wall.

I had to sit here today and watch the Orioles just go yard all over us. Chris Davis has 11 homers. He's hit more in like three games against us than most of the guys on my team have hit all season.

I'd quit right now, I swear I would. But there's one thing that keeps me coming back. One guy out there who's ready to rip a few baseballs into the seats. That Arcia; he's my guy. I told him the other day, buddy, I'm just here to help you lando el baseball in the el cheapos.

He doesn't really understand me, but he smiles. And he swings hard. I can work with that.

Twins vs Orioles News and Notes

2013-05-10T21:09:13Z

Probables (all games FSN)

Friday, 7:10pm: Mike Pelfrey vs. Jason Hammel
Saturday, 6:10pm: Vance Worley vs. Steve Johnson
Sunday, 1:10pm: Scott Diamond vs. Wei Yin Chen

Orioles Notes

Remember last year when the Orioles were 47-1 in extra innings or whatever? They're only 6-5 this year in one-run games, and 2-2 in extra innings, yet they're still 21-14 and tied for the AL East lead with Boston and the Yankees. Weird.
Steve Johnson, who starts Saturday, had a 2.11 ERA in 12 appearances for the Orioles last year, including four starts and a 4-0 record - but didn't make the rotation in the spring. He's 1-1 in three starts at Triple-A this year, with a 4.11 ERA, and when Miguel Gonzalez hit the DL with a thumb blister, he was called up to the big leagues.
If you go by ERA, you'll be watching two of the top three bullpens in the AL this weekend; Minnesota is second at 2.63, Baltimore third at 2.82. Cleveland tops the league, with a 2.61 bullpen ERA.

Twins Notes

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Oswaldo Arcia has joined Yogi Berra as the youngest players to homer at Fenway Park on their birthday. Ted Williams is one spot off; he homered there on his 23rd birthday. So Yogi and the Splendid Splinter, Oswaldo. No pressure.
Cole De Vries is scheduled to make a Double-A rehab start tonight.
Tim Wood had a setback in his rehab assignment, and so has been shut down yet again. At one point I thought Wood would be back within the week; at this point, he appears to be lost for quite a long time.

Twins at Red Sox News and Notes

2013-05-06T14:00:12Z

Probables (all games 6:10pm Central Time)

Monday, FSN: Vance Worley vs. Clay Buchholz
Tuesday, FSN PLUS: Scott Diamond vs. Ryan Dempster
Wednesday, FSN, ESPN: Pedro Hernandez vs. Felix Doubrount
Thursday, FSN: Kevin Correia vs. John Lackey

Red Sox Notes

Tonight is Clay Buchholz's first start since Jack Morris and Dirk Hayhurst accused the righthander of throwing a spitball. I'm sure there will be no coverage of this whatsoever today. Near as I can tell, Buchholz acknowledges that he puts rosin on his arm, which he then rubs on the ball, but can't understand why anyone would therefore accuse him of cheating. Here's hoping Ron Gardenhire asks the ump to check him like once an inning, and the whole thing leads to a good solid brawl.
The Red Sox are 20-11 and are tied for baseball's best record.
Mike Carp is hitting .406 in part-time action for Boston, who is 10-3 when Carp gets at least one at-bat in a game. Boston's road to a championship is thus clear: More Carp. #morecarp
Sox closer Andrew Bailey hasn't pitched in a week, and will undergo an MRI on his right biceps. In his absence, Joel Hanrahan has four saves.

Twins Notes

As of May 3, Darin Mastroianni will be in a walking boot for at least another week, after which the Twins will presumably send him on a rehab assignment and then stop returning his phone calls, a la Tim Wood.
Cole De Vries made the first start of his rehab assignment on Sunday in Fort Myers, allowing two runs (one earned) on six hits in four innings of work. De Vries also struck out two.
Another note from looking up that box score: Remember Levi Michael? He's hitting .184, the worst of any player on the Miracle roster.

The Twins pitching staff discusses Clay Buchholz

2013-05-06T13:00:11Z

SCENE: The back of a commercial airplane. One whole row of seats is taken up with the veterans of the Twins pitching staff, as well as pitching coach RICK ANDERSON. The younger members of the staff are in the row in front, kneeling on their seats and peering over the seatbacks like first graders.

ANDERSON: Men. Thank you for gathering here in row 22.

RYAN PRESSLY: And row 21!

ANDERSON: Shut up, Ryan. Now, by now, most of you have probably heard about Clay Buchholz. Our guy Jack Morris accused him of throwing a spitball, and everybody's up in arms about it. Now, you men know that the spitball is illegal, right?

ALL (in semi-unison, with Anthony Swarzak a dreamy two steps behind): Yes, coach.

ANDERSON: Good, I'm glad we got that cleared up. Now here's why I wanted to talk to you: some of you need to start putting some stuff on the ball.

VANCE WORLEY: You mean we need to start throwing harder?

ANDERSON: Wait, you can throw harder, but you've been holding back?

WORLEY (in a sad voice): No. He hangs his head in shame.

ANDERSON: What I meant was, whatever substance you guys can get on that baseball, you do it. You do it right now.

MIKE PELFREY: You mean we should put rosin on the baseball, like Buchholz does?

ANDERSON: Pelfrey, if I was you, I'd smuggle anything I could carry out to the mound. Chunky peanut butter. Country gravy. Anything, literally anything, to make that fastball of yours move more than the one-quarter of an inch that it does now.

PERKINS: Why can't we just mix up our pitches and strike out every other guy we face?

Everyone stares daggers at him.

PELFREY (under his breath): Teacher's pet.

PERKINS: Sorry. (mumbling to himself) Not my fault that you pitch like you're a drunk throwing darts.

ANDERSON: What was that, Glen?

PERKINS: Nothing.

ANDERSON: Right. Now, the rest of you. Diamond, I want you to start putting maple syrup on the ball.

DIAMOND: How am I supposed to get maple syrup out to the mound?

ANDERSON: You're Canadian, ain't you?

DIAMOND: Yes, but that doesn't mean -

ANDERSON: THEN TALK TO YOUR FRIEND THE MAPLE SYRUP MOOSE, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU PEOPLE DO. Sheesh, do I have to do everything around here?

ALL: No.

ANTHONY SWARZAK (two beats later): No! Wait, what? Man, I am so out of it right now, this dude in Cleveland said I'd get mellowed out but he didn't mention this.

ANDERSON: How is it possible that Ol' Smoky over here is actually getting guys out?

KEVIN CORREIA (brightly): I'm not struggling, Rick!

ANDERSON: Yes, Kevin. That's great.

CORREIA: I talked to this giant rainbow, and he said I'll never have troubles again!

ANDERSON: Oh God. Were you hanging out with Swarzak?

SWARZAK: Don't mind him, man. We're gonna give him some orange juice, he should be fine.

ANDERSON: Yikes. Right. Anyway, Pelfrey and Worley, I want your baseball-doctoring plans presented to me by 2pm in the clubhouse tomorrow. Diamond, you too. Hernandez, you get prepared for the inevitable. Correia... Anthony, you going to tell him what we said?

SWARZAK: Tell who what now?

CORREIA: You have happiness pouring out your ears!

PERKINS: This actually explains a lot.

ANDERSON (looking towards the heavens) Saint Radke, our blessed saint of pitching to contact, give me strength.

We cut to the outside of the plane, which we see receding into the distance, with only the faint sound of Correia and Swarzak shouting "WHEEEE!" to take us out.