Booker T and Jim Ross were introduced prior to this one as the announcers, with Cole running down J.R. and Jerry Lawler down all the way to the ring. They introduce Jack Swagger, who makes his way down to the ring and starts doing push-ups, and is interrupted by the sound of breaking glass and AUSTIN AUSTIN BAH GAWD AUSTIN makes his way to the ring. Oh, and Austin is on an ATV, which he uses to damn near run over Swagger and chase Michael Cole back into the "Cole Mine."
Cole's wearing an old-school wrestling singlet that looks like an homage to Oakes High School. (Approximately three people that read this are going to catch that reference. Sometimes, I have to do things just for me.) Cole refuses to come out of the "Cole Mine," so Austin says to ring the (censored) bell and tells Lawler to go out and get Cole. Cole offers to shake hands with Lawler, sticking his hand out of one of the holes in the plexiglass that comprises the "Cole Mine," but Lawler pulls him into the plexiglass several times. Eventually, Lawler gets Cole out of the enclosure and throws him into the Raw General Manager podium before tossing him into the ring.
As Lawler was attempting to get into the ring, Swagger jumped him from behind (he had been taken out by Lawler early in the match), and left him vulnerable to a baseball slide (!?) by Cole, after which Swagger applied the ankle lock outside of the ring. Lawler finally gets into the ring, and Cole goes after the ankle. Cole's offense is incredibly weak, and I understand that's by design, but really. . .it's just sad.
Cole eventually puts the strap down on the singlet, Lawler-style, and locks in the. . .ugh. . .An-Cole Lock on Lawler. Lawler, to his credit, is selling it like he's being beaten with a rubber hose, but he eventually managed to kick Cole off of him. Lawler gets the advantage, after which Swagger attempts to throw in the towel on Cole's behalf to stop the match. Austin tells him that he can't do that, Swagger enters the ring to protest, and eats a Stone Cold Stunner for his troubles.
Lawler finally gets well and truly on the offensive, and just starts pummeling Cole with right hands. Lawler hits a dropkick, heads to the second rope, drops the strap, and hits the flying fistdrop. Lawler goes for the pin, Austin gets to a two count. . .and he picks Cole up off the mat. Lawler hits the ankle lock, and Cole immediately starts tapping out. It takes Austin a while to determine that Cole really does want to give up and call for the bell, but he eventually does.
No surprise here. I'm pretty sure everyone in the building thought that Lawler was going to win this one. Swagger carries Cole back to the locker room, as Lawler and Austin share some ice cold adult beverages in the ring. Booker T then makes his way into the ring, celebrates with Austin for a bit, and then hits the Spinaroonie in the middle of the ring, much to Austin and Lawler's delight. . .and then Booker T eats a Stunner, with the accompanying beer spitting effects.
Winner: Jerry Lawler via submission with the ankle lock.
We then get an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager, saying that Austin overstepped his bounds as the referee, and that Lawler has been disqualified.
Winner: Michael Cole via disqualification
Lawler can't believe it, and he takes it out on Josh Matthews, who read the e-mail announcement. Lawler tosses Matthews into the ring, and he eats a Stunner as well. Lawler isn't happy with the result, and quite frankly, neither am I. I have no idea why in the heck they would do the ending that way, and it still doesn't give us any idea who the Raw General Manager is.
Looks like Lawler is taking his seat by J.R. at ringside, so he may announce the rest of the way. . .which is nice, since after the Stunner-a-thon we just witnessed, they're the only two healthy announcers left.