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Week 5 NFL Picks: Just The Picks, Ma'am

Thanks to real life getting firmly in the way once again, yours truly has been derelict in getting his picks for Week Five of NFL action out here for your viewing pleasure. My apologies for that.

Last week went pretty well for picks from a straight-up perspective, as I managed to go 8-6 just picking the winners. The figures against the spread are still pretty abysmal, however, as I could only go 4-10, putting myself further under .500 against the spread for the season. Oh, well, it's a good thing that nobody's using these picks to actually try to make money or anything like that, I suppose.

I'm already off to a 0-1 start both straight up and against the spread this week, having taken the Arizona Cardinals to defeat the St. Louis Rams. . .yeah, that didn't happen. So, this week, no commentary. . .just picks, with the numbers brought to you by our friends at OddsShark, as always.

Game of the Week: Denver Broncos at New England Patriots (-6.5)
Straight-Up: Patriots, ATS: Broncos

Lock of the Week: Houston Texans (-9) at New York Jets
: Texans, ATS: Texans

Upset of the Week: San Diego Chargers at New Orleans Saints (-3.5)
Straight-Up: Chargers, ATS: Chargers

The Rest of the Week

Baltimore Ravens (-6.5) at Kansas City Chiefs
: Ravens, ATS: Ravens

Green Bay Packers (-6.5) at Indianapolis Colts
: Packers, ATS: Colts

Miami Dolphins at Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
Straight-Up: Bengals, ATS: Bengals

Atlanta Falcons (-2.5) at Washington Redskins
: Falcons, ATS: Falcons

Philadelphia Eagles at Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5)
Straight-Up: Steelers, ATS: Eagles

Cleveland Browns at New York Giants (-9.5)
Straight-Up: Giants, ATS: Browns

Chicago Bears (-5.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars
: Bears, ATS: Bears

Seattle Seahawks at Carolina Panthers (-2.5)
Straight-Up: Seahawks, ATS: Seahawks

Buffalo Bills at San Francisco 49ers (-9.5)
Straight-Up: 49ers, ATS: 49ers

Record Straight-Up Last Week: 8-6
Record Straight-Up for the Season: 35-24

Record ATS Last Week: 4-10
Record ATS for the Season: 24-34-1

Lock of the Week for the Season: 3-1 straight-up, 1-3 against the spread
Upset of the Week for the Season: 2-2 straight-up, 3-1 against the spread

Photographs by Micah Taylor, clairity, and Fibonacci Blue used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.