A Suggestion For Next Year's Super Bowl Halftime Show

Last night, during Madonna's much better than expected (by this writer, anyway) Super Bowl Halftime performance, we got a moment that, while not as "offensive" as Super Bowl XXXVIII's "wardrobe malfunction," is still likely to make what has been a trend of "family friendly" Super Bowl halftime shows to get clamped down on even more.

By now, I'm guessing that you've either seen or heard about something/someone called M.I.A. extending a one-fingered salute to the camera that was recording her during her cameo appearance during the show. The censors at NBC missed it by just a second or two, but my guess is that it isn't going to take much more than that to make next year's performance even more tightly scrutinized.

With that in mind, we here at SB Nation Minnesota would like to make a humble suggestion for who we. . .and, more specifically, I. . .think should get the stage for the halftime show of Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans. It's one very specific performer that I have in mind. This person's appeal spans generations. They can fit their shows to people of all ages. And I would be willing to guarantee that they would do nothing at all that would be considered even mildly offensive while they were up on stage.

I'm speaking, of course, of the one. . .the only. . .

"Weird Al" Yankovic.

You may be laughing at this point, or you may be asking yourself, "What in the blue hell is this guy talking about?" Think about it for a moment. Weird Al has been doing shows and putting out albums for nearly 30 years. In fact, 2013 will mark the 30th anniversary of the release of his self-titled debut album. Over those 30 years, he has parodied pretty much every artist imaginable, from Queen, Madonna, and Nirvana all the way to Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Miley Cyrus. You want somebody that can provide cross-generational appeal? Who could possibly do it better than Weird Al?

And honestly, can you even remotely picture Weird Al doing anything offensive and embarrassing on stage during his performance? I can't even remember the man using curse words in any of his parodies over the years. . .obviously the guy can do a "clean" show. If you've ever seen Weird Al in concert, he is amazingly entertaining, and would be able to get the crowd in New Orleans highly involved in whatever performance he wanted to put together.

So, I would like to formally throw the name of "Weird Al" Yankovic into the ring for the right to perform at Super Bowl XLVII. He meets all of the NFL's criteria, he's a great entertainer, and he would appeal to a lot of folks. What more could the NFL potentially want?