For a number of years now, the St. Paul Saints have had porcine mascots for their games at Midway Stadium. Yes, they have a trained pig that will bring the baseballs to the umpire between innings. The pigs are owned by a local farmer that brings them in to every home game.
↵One of the traditions that has gone along with that has been a contest in which fans submit names for the pig, and this year was no different. Past winners have been names such as Hamlet, Garrison Squealor, and the Notorious P.I.G. (whose real name, I assume, was Piggie Smalls). This year's winner has been chosen by the team, and there will actually be two pig mascots at Midway Stadium this year. Their names?
↵Kim Lardashian and Kris Hamphries.
↵That first one is Lard-ash. . .with an "H." Yes, there are less family-friendly ways it can be enhanced. Would be more true to its inspiration as well, I would think.
↵The Saints will open their season at home this evening against the Gary Southshore Railcats. First pitch is scheduled for 7:05 PM. Tonight is also Military Appreciation Night.