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CBS Sports Week 17 NFL Power Rankings: Pete Prisco Is An Idiot

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You know, I don’t ask for much from the people that put together these Power Rankings. Really, I don’t. The only thing that I ask of these folks is that they do something that at least kind of, sort of, makes a little bit of freaking sense.

Enter noted Viking hater Pete Prisco of CBS Sports, for whom logic is a four-letter word.

Take a guess at where the Vikings rank in Pete Prisco’s world after their 24-14 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles on Tuesday night. Go ahead, take a stab. Keep in mind, Prisco had them at number 25 in his rankings last week.

Pete Prisco was apparently so impressed that he decided the way to reward the Vikings for playing their best game of the 2010 season would be. . .to DROP THEM FIVE MORE SPOTS TO NUMBER 30 IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

Let me put this another way. . .Prisco punished the Vikings more for beating the Eagles by ten points in their house (as a two-touchdown underdog) with a rookie quarterback behind center (dropping them five spots) than he punished the Eagles for losing by ten points in their house (as a two-touchdown favorite) to a team with a rookie quarterback behind center (dropping them two spots from number 5 to number 7).

You know, I’m not even going to put Prisco’s commentary in here, because he’s clearly a moron that has absolutely no idea what in the blue hell he’s talking about. For the record, the only two teams that the Vikings rank ahead of in Prisco’s world are the Cleveland Browns and the Carolina Panthers. Let me give you some of the teams that Prisco has the Vikings ranked behind.

-The Cincinnati Bengals (number 29): The Vikings are a full two games better than the 4-11 Bengals.
-The Buffalo Bills (number 28): Another 4-11 team. . .one that the Vikings destroyed earlier in the season and spent this past Sunday getting crushed 34-3 by New England.
-The San Francisco 49ers (number 27): The Niners have a record of 5-10 and just fired their coach. Somehow better than Minnesota in Pete Prisco’s world.
-The Detroit Lions (number 26): Worse record than Minnesota (5-10). Lost to Minnesota earlier in the year.
-The Dallas Cowboys (number 25): See Detroit
-The Arizona Cardinals (number 24): See Detroit and Dallas
-The Denver Broncos (number 21): The Broncos are 4-11 and squeaked out a 24-23, come-from-behind victory at home over the Houston Texans on Sunday. Pete Prisco rewarded this by moving the Broncos up NINE FREAKING SPOTS to number 21 from number 30.

The stupid, it burns. It’s overwhelming. It’s amazing that this guy has a job that requires him to talk about football for any length of time for any reason.

My mind is completely blown by this. So much so that I’m going to have to sleep on this for a bit and resume adding Power Ranking updates in the morning.

The Minnesota Vikings are the third-worst team in the NFL. Sure they are. Idiot.

Photographs by Micah Taylor, clairity, and Fibonacci Blue used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.