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SB Nation Minnesota's Week Eleven NFL Picks

I apologize for the tardiness of this week's picks, ladies and gentlemen. Although, based on what we did around here last week, maybe it would be best for everybody to forget that we're doing picks all together. . .myself included.

We had, by far, our worst week of the season last week, going 5-10 both straight-up and against the number, which is terrible no matter how you slice it. We're sitting right around .500 against the spread for the season (one game under as of now, actually), and our straight-up picks are still pretty good, but after last week, I need to do something a little different. So, as you saw with my pick for the Thursday night game. . .which already has us off to an 0-1 start for the week. . .we're going with an all-haiku format.

For this week only. I promise.

Maybe.

Anyway, here we go!

Game of the Week - San Diego Chargers at Chicago Bears (-3.5)

Snow in Chicago?
Rivers turning it over
Means bad news for Bolts

Straight-Up: Bears, ATS: Bears

Lock of the Week - Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants (-5)

No Vick or Maclin?
The "Dream Team" is a nightmare
New York bounces back

Straight-Up: Giants, ATS: Giants

Upset of the Week - Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-7.5)

Which Ravens show up?
No one knows for sure but I
Think that Cincy wins

Straight-Up: Bengals, ATS: Bengals

The Rest of the Week

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-7.5)

Cam hitting the wall?
I guess it could be much worse
It could be Steve Smith

Straight-Up: Lions, ATS: Lions

Jacksonville Jaguars at Cleveland Browns (pick 'em)

Will anyone watch this?
I somehow have my doubts there
Go with the home team

Straight-Up: Browns, ATS: Browns

Dallas Cowboys (-8) at Washington Redskins

It's hard to win games
In DC with no QB
I'll go with Romo

Straight-Up: Cowboys, ATS: Cowboys

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins (even)

Two straight for the 'Phins?
Can they get a third at home?
I don't think they do.

Straight-Up: Bills, ATS: Bills

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Green Bay Packers (-15.5)

Still don't like Green Bay
But they should win this one big
Just not quite this big

Straight-Up: Packers, ATS: Buccaneers

Seattle Seahawks at St. Louis Rams (-2.5)

Both teams are so bad
Bradford should outplay T-Jack
Give the Rams the win

Straight-Up: Rams, ATS: Rams

Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers (-11.5)

Niners are elite
The Cardinals are really not
That makes things easy

Straight-Up: Niners, ATS: Niners

Tennessee Titans at Atlanta Falcons (-7)

Titans need a win
A win at the Georgia Dome?
Asking a bit much

Straight-Up: Falcons, ATS: Falcons

Kansas City Chiefs at New England Patriots (-16.5)

That's a lot of points
Even with Palko in there
Chiefs should cover here

Straight-Up: Patriots, ATS: Chiefs

Straight-Up For Season: 83-52 (5-10 last week)
ATS For Season: 64-65-6 (5-10 last week)
Lock of the Week: 5-4
Upset of the Week: 4-5

Photographs by Micah Taylor, clairity, and Fibonacci Blue used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.