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Sunday TV Schedule: Super Bowl Viewing Alternatives

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I'll admit it, and it kills me to do so. I'm not watching that football game that's going to be on today, largely because I refuse to watch a hated rival potentially win another championship while the football powers that be see fit to do nothing but continue to kick my favorite team in the teeth for no discernible reason. It makes me happy to know that I'm not alone in that sentiment, not just among my fellow Viking fans, but within America in general.

Super Bowl Sunday used to be considered a dead period for television programming, but now there are networks that are devoting the day to presenting a different programming alternative to those people that have no interest in watching the "Big Game." If you're one of those people, you're in luck. . .I've compiled an extensive list of Super Bowl viewing alternatives for your perusal. Hopefully, if you're like me and have no desire to watch today's game, I hope that you can put it to good use.

(All times Central)

Animal Planet: Puppy Bowl VII, starting at 2 PM - Allow me to make another admission. . .I LOVE me some Puppy Bowl. For those of you that have never seen it, Animal Planet takes a bunch of puppies, turns them loose on a "football field" (which is, basically, just a rug designed to look like a football field), and lets the cameras roll for a couple of hours. They then loop this footage on the network all day long. If you like watching cute puppies frolic. . .and, seriously, who doesn't. . .then this is for you.

MTV: Jersey Shore, 11 AM to 5 PM - I don't know what a Snooki is, but if you want to see exactly why MTV is now a greater contributor to the downfall of Western Civilization than ever thought possible, go ahead and tune in

Style Network: Jerseylicious, starting at 5 AM - I have absolutely no idea what in the heck this is. Obviously, somebody likes it.

Syfy Channel: Ghost Hunters, 8 AM to 8 PM - I hate that the network has chosen to spell their name that way. . .stupid "hip, edgy" marketing ploys. But this is an alright show.

Travel Channel: Ghost Adventures, 8 AM to 8 PM - Not to be confused with Ghost Hunters, obviously.

TNT: Law and Order (Original Recipe), 4 AM to 4 PM - I believe I've seen every episode of the original series a dozen times (thank you, reruns). And you know something? It's still awesome.

USA: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, starting at 9 PM - Probably my favorite L&O spin-off, largely because I can't get over the fact that the male lead is the same guy that played Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket

A&E: Criminal Minds, starting at 4 PM - Haven't actually seen this show, either, though I haven't heard anything bad about it. If I get bored with the Puppy Bowl, this might be my next destination.

TBS: A whole lot of chick flicks, including Pretty Woman, The Holiday, My Big, Fat Greek Wedding, and the premiere of Mamma Mia! I don't care how much of an ABBA fan I am. . .I wouldn't be caught dead watching this marathon.

Lifetime: A movie marathon, no doubt consisting of such classics as My Stepson, My Lover, Mother, May I Sleep With Danger, and Do You Know The Muffin Man. I didn't make any of those up. . .they're all honest-to-God titles of Lifetime movies. Go ahead, look them up.

Oxygen: America's Next Top Model, 7 AM to 1 PM, followed by a marathon of the crime show Snapped.

WEtv: Numerous episodes of Rich Bride, Poor Bride, and My Fair Wedding With David Tutera.

TLC: A Say Yes to the Dress marathon starting at 8 AM, followed by a run of Toddlers and Tiaras. . .speaking of the downfall of Western Civilization. . .starting at 2 PM.

E!: A Sex and the City marathon starting at 11 AM. Said marathon will be interspersed with episodes of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Holly's World, and Bridalplasty, plus the movie The Princess Diaries. (Which, you know, doesn't really strike me as much of a "marathon," but hey, I'm not a program director.)

Bravo: A marathon of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, starting at 2:30 PM.

VH1: Basketball Wives, 11 AM to 6 PM

Discovery Channel: Gold Rush: Alaska from 10 AM to 5 PM, followed by a Destroyed In Seconds marathon starting right after that

BBC America: Top Gear, all day long

Spike TV: 1,000 Ways To Die, noon to 11 PM

BET: The Mo'Nique Show, 11 AM to 10 PM

And I believe that's pretty much everything. Hopefully you can find something within this list that tickles your fancy.

Photographs by Micah Taylor, clairity, and Fibonacci Blue used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.