Aside from the big football game, Super Bowl Sunday is becoming known for one thing in the world of television, and that's programming executives pretty much saying, "You know, nobody's watching anyway, so let's give everyone a breather and just play the same show all day."
Yes, it's television marathon Sunday in the land of television, and if you have a wife or a girlfriend. . .or a husband or a boyfriend (since we want to be equal opportunity around here). . .that doesn't feel like watching the Super Bowl, there are a veritable plethora of viewing alternatives for them to keep an eye on this afternoon and evening.
Follow us after the jump, and we will detail them for you in chronological order, with all times converted to Central time for your viewing pleasure.
TNT - Law & Order, 3 AM to 10 PM - Depending on how early you want to start your day, you can get your fill of the original (and, by far, the best) incarnation of the hit crime drama. Nineteen straight hours of hot legal action, in fact.
History Channel - Swamp People, 7 AM to 5 PM - To channel my inner Andy Rooney here. . .did you ever notice that most of the stuff on the "History" Channel these days isn't really "history?" Well, neither is this.
ABC Family, Bring It On-athon, 8 AM to 6 PM - ABC Family is going to be running all five of the Bring It On movies in order. Yes, there were apparently five Bring It On movies. It's already been "broughten," indeed.
SyFy Channel, Being Human, 8 AM to 9 PM - This encompasses the entire first season of the show. In one of the episodes, I believe they go back in time and try to figure out why in the heck somebody decided to spell the name of this network "SyFy."
USA Network, Law & Order: SVU, 8 AM to 10 PM - One of the many spin-offs of the Law & Order franchise, SVU one of the better ones. So, if you get bored with the original L&O, you can always flip it over here.
BBC America, Absolutely Fabulous, 9 AM to 5 AM (Monday) - One of the many shows that America tried to rip off from the British and bring to America that absolutely flopped here in the States (see also: Coupling and Top Gear), you can check out 20 straight hours of it in honor of the show's 20th anniversary.
Bravo, The Real Housewives of Pretty Much Everywhere, 11 AM to 1 AM (Monday) - Honestly, can we get a green light on The Real Housewives of Minneapolis, please? It would have to be more entertaining than this. (Although my wife really digs these shows. So, to that I say bravo. . .er, Bravo.)
VH1, I Love The 80s/90s, Noon to 4 PM - Try to catch a glimpse of Madonna when she was young. . .ish.
Animal Planet, Puppy Bowl, 2 PM to 2 AM (Monday) - No, this isn't a marathon. What it is, though, is pretty much the cutest thing on television all year. It's disgustingly cute, to be honest. And it will take up space on my DVR for, at a minimum, the next six months.
Disney Channel, High School Musical 1, 2, and 3, 2:30 PM to 8:30 PM - Kids annoying the bejeezus out of you? Well, between this and the Puppy Bowl, there is no reason for that to happen.
Food Network, Cupcake Wars, 5 PM to 1 AM (Monday) - It's not people fighting each other with cupcakes. . .it's a competition where the cupcakes actually get baked. Although I think if they actually fought each other with cupcakes, the ratings would be higher. More entertaining, too.
CMT, Kitchen Nightmares, 5 PM to 2 AM (Monday) - GORDON F***ING RAMSAY! FOR NINE STRAIGHT F***ING HOURS! HOW DO YOU F***ING LIKE THAT!? YOU'D BETTER F***ING LIKE IT, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE F***ING GETTING!
VH1, The 100 Greatest Songs of the '00s, 6 PM to 11 PM - Is it real, or is it Auto-tuned? In this case. . .more than likely Auto-tuned. If you watch all five hours of this, you will see more videos than MTV has shown in the last decade.
And there you have it. If you'd like to find something other than the Super Bowl to watch at any time today, we've pretty much got you covered.